Lately I’ve been asked whether I copy my ideas from other crafters or if I come up with my own designs. And after I’ve been restrained by a nearby SWAT team I answer that yes, I do indeed come up with my own ideas for bags, cases and covers and home decor thank you very bloody much. This invariably means that the next question is about when I feel inspired, at which point my answer becomes rambling to the point of needing its own footpath. For you, though, darling reader and kraken-lover, I’ve narrowed those moments of inspiration down to these:

1. As I fall asleep, a moment that is usually followed by me fumbling for the bedside light while wedging my glasses up my nose and scrawling said idea on the back of my hand with the child’s felt tip pen that I trod on as I got into bed. The inevitable outcome is that by the morning I can neither remember said idea or understand the lurid green smudge across my knuckles.

2. On the toilet. I’ve a theory that I get my best ideas on the toilet because they are the few moments of the day when I’m using my bladder rather than my brain, freeing up my noggin to creativity. The result? Me stumbling to the sink with my knickers around my ankles to write my idea on my hand in eyeliner/ lipstick/ mascara before I forget it.

3. While walking. In an effort to reduce the size of my arse I’ve taken walking for an hour a day which is prime fodder for inspiration. Thing is, I never remember to take a pen so two miles into a walk down a remote running trail I become struck dumb with inspiration and, to not forget my idea, I have to repeat it out loud to myself until I reach a method of recording it. So, if you ever pass a bug-eyed woman frantically repeating the words “button bunting” while sweating profusely in a pair of grimy trainers you know exactly who it is, right? Right.

toilet roll